23w2d: Contractions

I have been having wierd sensations in my belly since last Saturday. It wasn't until yesterday did I realize that I was having daily contractions - Braxton Hicks/false labor. It seems if I walk or stand for even a short amount of time I get the tightening in my belly. All this time, I thought it was the babies in wierd positions. Bedrest might not be far away.

23w1d: Congenital Heart Defect

I had the fetal ultrasound for the twins yesterday. The girl is still in perfect health. The boy is another story. He has something called Tetralogy of Fallot. Simply put, he has 3 chambers instead of 4. By 45 days of conception, his heart should have full developed. Instead, his genes decided that his aortas will be ok, but the ventricles will not separated into separate chambers. Optimistically with modern medicine, the outlook is pretty good. He can live a long lifespan and I can have a normal pregnancy. Unfortunately, since the heart had formed, the ventricular muscle will not grow anymore. He will have obstacles along the way where he will have heart surgery to separate the ventricular chambers at 4-6 months. Up until recently, they were performing this surgery at the teenage stage. We won't know more until he is born, but I will have more fetal echos in the meantime. They need to see him once he has entered this world to do an official echo on him. Due to the plumpness of arteries, the doctor seems optimistic.

It's definitely a lot to take in and I was exhausted yesterday to look up more information on tetralogy of fallot. I'm sure I'll read a see saw of stories. I'll try not to let those stories discourage me. I just want to feel prepared. This disease will be apart of our lives, so I will embrace it. Speaking of discouragement, I have told several people about his disease. I really don't understand some comments that come out of people's mouths. In my mind, survivability, love, and health are the most important things when having a child. Instead, I have family members worried about abnormalities and deformities. Is that really what matters? Why do people bring you down? Aren't I under enough stress? Can't you just be happy or worried about the diagnosis and prognosis? His disease isn't my big stressor, it's the unsupportive comments that stress me out.

I continue to feel blessed to incubate the 2 littles ones. They are our miracle gifts from above. We will do everything in our power to give them all the love and happiness they deserve.

21w3d: An Inspirational Story

I am in love with this family.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-469650/The-twins-million.html

21w1d: Reflection

I keep reflecting about what happened in the last 24 hours. So much information has been given to me that I'm trying to process it all. I believe that the hospital is now preparing themselves rather than preparing us. They need the right specialists on hand in case he needs heart or kidney surgery when he comes out. They didn't even push the amnio because they can't do anything to change if he has Down's Syndrome. I think the amnio is more for the parents rather than the medical staff.

I am trying my hardest to take everything as it is. I am ok one minute and I am sad another minute. We are given things we can handle and we are blessed with whatever we get. I was so sure that we were having twin girls and we got one of each. After reading success stories, I was so sure that the boy was ok with just that one marker of the fluid in the neck. But since more markers have appeared, I am not so sure he is ok now. Too bad nothing can change the situation ~ if there is something that I can eat or if I have to exercise 3 hours a day I would. I just hope and pray he comes out happy and healthy with or without Down’s Syndrome. We will love him just the same if not more.

21w0d: Markers

I went in for a fetal assessment today. It turns out the boy has 3 down syndrome markers - kidneys are dialated, short femur bones, and cystic hygroma. This means the twin boy will have a 50% chance of having down syndrome. The biggest concern is the cystic hygroma because it can block the passage to the heart and cause heart problems. That is probably one of my fears that the his heart will have too work too hard. So far his heartbeat is awesome ranging from 154-163 bpm.

So the next set of appointments will involve an echo cardiogram to make sure there are no holes in the heart and a nephrology consult to make sure we know what to do with the kidneys. We will also go back to get the cystic hygroma and femur follow up. We need the cystic hygroma to go away and the femurs to grow.

The office is so much nicer and the staff is much nicer at the fetal assessment department.

Stats:
Boy: 13oz, heartbeat 154 bpm, measures at 21w6d
Girl: 1lb, heartbeat 124 bpm, measures at 22w0d

20w6d: Speculation

I got a call from my OB yesterday. The boy has an added marker/symptom for down's syndrome to make them concerned. Besides the extra fluid or fold or whatever on his neck, he now has a short femur compared to his head and stomach. I am concerned, but not. I mean he could just be short. Shortness is fine and down's syndrome is fine. As long as everything is ok with his heart, then I won't be concerned.

I am on this see saw of concern and trying to find peace in this whole medical experience. I am a strong believer in you are given what you can handle. He and she are our miracles from the man upstairs - if they are ready to come into this world we are ready for you little angels. Thank you for wanting to share your lives with us. Truly blessed.

20w2d: The Verdict

We have one boy and one girl. The boy is Twin A or Lefty Lucy (I guess that
isn't a good name anymore). And Twin B or Righty Tighty is a girl. Both are 15 oz. They both measure at 21 weeks and 3 days. The boy has a heartbeat of 163 bpm. The girl has a heartbeat of 153 bpm. My daughter has named them Squeeze and Stretch.

Despite rising excitement and the happy news, I was deeply disappointed. It was such an awful experience that I had a meltdown laying on the table during my scan. I got to my ultrasound appointment on time an was told I was too late. This was a turn of events that made everything sour. I irritatedly told the lady at the front desk that the automated system
left me a message to come 1 hour later yesterday. After 15 minutes of waiting and the front desk calling the supervisor after supervisor, the OB technician finally came out. She was obviously very bitter. She right off said my mom and daughter cannot come with me because she needs to concentrate because she's 35 minutes behind to take 160 pictures. I tried to politely ask for them to come back so that my mom can take pictures for my deployed husband. The tech cut me
off and said that no cameras are
allowed. Then she continued to scold
me about not paying attention to the automated system and someone should have called me. I argued with her I'm new to this system and I had to rearrange my schedule just to come 1 hour later. I reached my breaking point with this whole medical system. I could not enjoy watching my babies on the screen without any family members. I started to cry from the stress
of not enjoying the moment and wishing it was over. Finally, after my tears, the tech finally let my mom and daughter in. But the tech, still rude said that the baby needs to be quiet. My daughter made no peeps.

I felt better after they came in, then another bubble bursted. The boy has extra thickness on his neck which could mean he has down syndrome. The doctor now wants me to go back for extra testing especially an amino. I will not do it. Why do doctors freak you out?